When our favorite NBA team loses in the playoffs, we as fans experience grief, anger, embarrassment and several other stupid emotions that are totally out of whack for something as relatively inconsequential as professional sports.
But we experience these feelings nonetheless.
So to deal with these sports-related emotions we as fans tend to do go through Five Steps of Healing.
Step 1) Blame the refs.
Step 2) Express the need to blow up everything about our flawed team: Players, coaches, the GM, the owner, the PA guy, ball boys, custodial staff - everybody on the team's payroll must go!
Step 3) Claim the moral high ground against the opposing team's annoying fans.
Step 4) Stew over the offseason, convincing ourselves that if we were the GM our team would go 82-0 and sweep their way to next season's title.
Step 5) Once next season starts, get our expectations up too high until we are ultimately let down again, hence repeating Steps 1-4.
Well, I'm a die-hard Lakers fan.
As such I am experiencing grief, anger, and embarrassment after watching my boys get annihilated 4-1 by a superior Oklahoma City Thunder team. I need to go through the Five Steps of Healing.
My Personal Five Steps of Healing
Step #1 - Blame the Refs. In all honesty, the officiating in the Lakers-Thunder series was a non-factor. Yes, the flagrant foul called against Metta World Peace was ridiculous, but in the Lakers only win (Game 3) Los Angeles attempted 42 free throws compared to 28 attempts by the Thunder. The better team won this series. The officiating had nothing to do with it.
Step # 2 - "Blow Up the Team!"I have already taken Step #2. You can read my "Lakers Blame Game" column here, where I rightfully blame every person associated with the Lakers organization.
Now here I am at Step #3, claiming the moral high ground against the opposing team's annoying fans.
So, Thunder fans, get ready. This isn't really about you, it's about me - I promise. It's about my personal healing process. It's about being able to move on. Don't take the rest of this column personally, Thunder fans, even though it is 100% true and you are all terrible people. (Kidding, kidding.)
Step #3 - Why Lakers Fans Are Superior to Those Annoying Thunder Fans
The T-Shirt. Really, Thunder fans? Really? You steal the Supersonics right out from under the good-hearted, coffee-drinking hippies in Seattle and then you mock them with this classless T-shirt? You know, the T-shirt that said, "Thank you Seattle - OKC." The T-shirts were so vile, so heartless, so horribly cruel that they are no longer being sold because death threats have been made.
You Thunder fans could learn a lot from us classy, compassionate Lakers fans. When the Minneapolis Lakers left the Midwest for Tinseltown, we Lakers fans did not change the team's name even though "Lakers" is a huge shout-out to Minnesota, not Los Angeles. You, on the other hand, murdered the legendary Supersonics name, taunting Sonics fans every step of the way.
Lakers fans honor tradition, legacy, and history.
Thunder fans shout "Neener, neener, neeeeener!" to the good people of Seattle.
The Matching Blue Shirts At Home Games. Now I'm being serious here, Thunder fans. Those matching blue shirts your fans wear to home games are just so cute! Seriously - so, so, so CUTE! Oh, I could just eat your home crowd with a spoon they look so cute in their matching adorableness! Just check out the video here of the color-coordinating CUTENESS!!!
As Lakers fans, we act like our team has been there before. Because it has - 16 times!
In fact, the Lakers dim the lights at home games so even if Lakers fans did something so contrived (but, admittedly CUTE!!!) as wearing matching shirts, nobody would be able to tell. Lakers fans understand the action is on the court, not in the stands.
The Post-Game Gunshots. Shortly after the Thunder's Game 5 home victory over the Lakers, eight people were injured after a fight escalated into gunfire just a few blocks from Chesapeake Energy Arena.
As Lakers fans, we celebrate responsibly. All we do is set fire to cars, buildings, and trash cans, but at least nobody gets shot. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Thunder fans. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Moving on To Step #4
Thank you, Thunder fans, for giving me so many reasons to take the moral high ground as a Lakers fan and advance beyond Step #3. My healing process is moving forward.
In fact, Metta World Peace and I share a therapist and she is pleased with both of our progress.
And, please, Thunder fans, don't judge me. Don't hate me. Don't make a classless T-shirt mocking me or come looking for me with a gun (not like you would do those sorts of things.) The Spurs are going to beat you 4-2 in the Western Conference Finals. And when they do, your heart will break.
You will blame the refs.
You will blame your team.
And then you will start ripping those annoying, classless San Antonio Spurs fans.
And then, only then, will you know exactly how I feel.
Andrew Sweat is a die-hard Lakers fan. For more from this author, visit Andrew's archive or check these out articles:
Could Kobe Bryant vs. Andrew Bynum Become the Next Kobe vs. Shaq?
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